Ten great suggestions are waiting for you to ensure child discipline that one of the most important points in child education.
1-Being consistent and decisive about rules: Behavior change requires process, and acting according to the rules requires first absorbing them. Being decisive about the rules and determining the boundaries well is an important point in forming behavior according to the rules.
2- Determining the boundaries of the rules well: It is necessary to determine clear rules to be understood instead of rules based on interpretation that vary from person to person. For example, in the phrase “do not come home late”, the concept of “late” is open to interpretation, as it may differ from person to person. Instead, it will be more effective to set rules with boundaries like I want you to be home at 9 pm.
3- Supporting words with behaviors: For example, to your child; If you set the rule of ‘you cannot play without clearing your room’ and when he goes to play,you collect the room after him, it means that your words and behavior do not match. In this case, a mixed message is sent to the child and the child receives the message that the rule you have set with your words is not valid in practice. So make sure your words and actions match.
4– Be model to your child’s behavior: Your child learns many behaviors by observing and imitating you. In this case, the biggest example of his behavior is the attitudes and approaches of his parents. Your child will observe and imitate you, especially while developing problem-solving skills. For example, if you want your child to adopt a compromising attitude and solve the problem by shouting and maybe using violence while fighting with his sibling, the message the child receives; “The method to solve the problems is to shout and hit”.
5- Determining the results of the behaviors well: The consequences of positive or negative behavior should be determined and explained to the child. For example, it would be useful to set certain rules, such as not doing homework during the homework time, which means that the computer time of that day will be lost.
6- Failure to reinforce negative behavior: For example, Think that there is a child who forces their parents to do something when he/she cries. If the family makes a decision about this issue and starts not doing what they want when they cry, the child will not get used to this situation immediately. For what he used to get when he cried for 10 minutes, he can now cry for hours, and parents can give the child what he wants, as they cannot bear it any longer. As a result, the child receives the message, “So if I cry long enough, I get what I want, if I can’t it means I haven’t cried enough or not.” In order not to reinforce the child’s negative behavior by crying, parents should be determined about the rules.
7- While disciplining the child, determining rules appropriate to his/her age and needs: Family is a variable structure and children want to increase their freedom by growing up over the years. Accordingly, the rules also need to be revised. For example, it would not be a realistic expectation that a 5-year-old child and a 15-year-old child have the same bedtime. Therefore, it is necessary to arrange the rules according to these needs.
8- Explanation of the purposes of the rules: In order to raise individuals who question and think, it is useful to explain the purposes and justifications of the rules. For example, mentioning the logic of the rule by stating the results that may arise when it is done instead of saying “do not this” will make the rule understandable.
9- Give your child encouraging messages: Discipline is a process that requires cooperation and motivation can be increased by supporting positive behavior. For example, when he/she tries to solve the problem with his/her friend at school in a conciliatory manner, expressing your pride in him or giving positive feedback or saying that “I knew I could trust you on this subject” when he fulfilled a responsibility he promised, you will reinforce these behaviors.
10- Be realistic about the rules and their consequences: Make sure you set rules that are applicable in practice. For example, saying that your child can not watch television because he passed over his limit may not be a realistic and applicable rule, assuming that other individuals in the house are watching. Instead, for example, setting rule that do not allow to watch television for a day will be more realistic and will ensure that parents are more consistent with the rules as it is applicable. “
Source: Elçin Külahçıoğlu
